{"id":184,"date":"2012-11-07T23:27:00","date_gmt":"2012-11-07T23:27:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.new.hamiltonlawandmediation.com\/i-want-to-kill-the-dog\/"},"modified":"2014-05-12T15:14:54","modified_gmt":"2014-05-12T15:14:54","slug":"i-want-to-kill-the-dog","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hamiltonlawandmediation.com\/i-want-to-kill-the-dog\/","title":{"rendered":"I Want to Kill the Dog"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><\/p>\n<div><b><i><u><span style=\"font-size: 20pt;\"><\/span><\/u><\/i><\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.hamiltonlawandmediation.com\/\"><i>A comment by Debra Hamilton on the book by Richard Cohen<\/i><\/a><\/div>\n<div style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.hamiltonlawandmediation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/11\/Richard_Cohen.jpg\" style=\"clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" border=\"0\" height=\"320\" data-src=\"https:\/\/www.hamiltonlawandmediation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/11\/Richard_Cohen-206x300.jpg\" width=\"220\" title=\"\" alt=\"\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" class=\"lazyload\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 220px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 220\/320;\" \/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" border=\"0\" height=\"320\" src=\"https:\/\/www.hamiltonlawandmediation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/11\/Richard_Cohen-206x300.jpg\" width=\"220\" title=\"\" alt=\"\" \/><\/noscript><\/a><\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div><span style=\"color: white;\">In the past week I have had 5 colleagues and 8 friends forward information about this book to my inbox.&nbsp; I get it!&nbsp; I am supposed to comment, so here it goes.<\/span><\/div>\n<div><span style=\"color: white;\"><\/span><\/div>\n<div><span style=\"color: white;\">Richard Cohen, Emmy Award winning author and Meredith Vieira\u2019s husband, wrote a book about <i>his<\/i>life with <i>her<\/i> dogs.&nbsp;&nbsp; Mr. Cohen playfully rants about the dogs that have passed through his home and life.&nbsp; I could insert my husband, Jim Hamilton\u2019s, name here since he could have written this book.&nbsp; However, Mr. Hamilton\u2019s book would be a bit different.&nbsp; The Vieira\/Cohen house had one quirky dog at a time.&nbsp; The Hamilton House, lets just say, hasn\u2019t had one dog since 1986.&nbsp; My husband Jim\u2019s favorite comment about my dogs is, \u201cI love <b><i><u>\u2018A\u2019<\/u><\/i><\/b> dog, she has 8 too many.\u201d <\/span><\/div>\n<div><span style=\"color: white;\"><\/span><\/div>\n<div><span style=\"color: white;\">The title of Mr. Cohen\u2019s book is uncannily accurate and prophetic, especially when I listen to my current clients.&nbsp; In my mediation practice I help people in conflict about an animal.&nbsp; This includes husbands of women who, like Meredith and I, have dogs with unique personalities.<\/span><\/div>\n<div><span style=\"color: white;\"><\/span><\/div>\n<div><span style=\"color: white;\">My mother always said, \u201cMany a true word is said in jest.\u201d &nbsp;Mr. Cohen speaks about how the dogs in his life created all sorts of havoc.&nbsp; Yet, he good-naturedly endured it all for the love of his wife and her habit.&nbsp; What if he didn\u2019t want to have several dogs underfoot or one dog with a bad attitude?&nbsp; What if they had a dog the neighbors couldn\u2019t stand; who created an uncomfortable situation in the neighborhood?<\/p>\n<p>Mr. Cohen didn\u2019t realize when he chose the title of his book how incredibly accurate it would be in depicting how people felt about their neighbor\u2019s pet.&nbsp; In my mediation and collaborative practice, which focuses on conflicts between people about animals, the first thing a party usually says to me when talking about the animal at the center of a conflict is, \u201cIt has been incredibly annoying and I want to kill it.\u201d &nbsp;Insert any species here.&nbsp; The parrot that screeches, the horse that smells or whinnies too much, the cat who uses the neighbor\u2019s garden as their personal litter box and the dog who barks non stop, defecates on the neighbor\u2019s property or scares the daylights out of passersby all fit the bill.<\/span><\/div>\n<div><span style=\"color: white;\"><\/span><\/div>\n<div><span style=\"color: white;\">Although Mr. Cohen\u2019s intention was to write a humorous book about living with his wife and her quirky animals, he actually gave voice, I dare say, to millions of people who feel exactly the same way and are not laughing about it.&nbsp; These people don\u2019t have the luxury of writing a book, chuckling about their lack of sleep or the ear piercing noise they have endured for years.&nbsp; Rather, they are tired, irritable and downright ready to \u2018kill the dog\u2019 next door but don\u2019t know how without getting caught and sent to jail.<\/span><\/div>\n<div><span style=\"color: white;\"><\/span><\/div>\n<div><span style=\"color: white;\">As a mediator, I am often called to neighbor disputes over animal issues.&nbsp; One such call involved feral cats.&nbsp; Neighbors were feeding feral cats, to the detriment of one neighbor and the use of her porch.&nbsp; She could not sit on her porch any longer because the cats were using it as a litter box.&nbsp; She carefully caught the cats with \u2018Have a Heart\u2019 traps and moved them to another location.&nbsp; When the neighbors found out about the transport they reported her to the Animal Welfare branch of a District Attorneys office.&nbsp; She was promptly arrested, paid a large fine and performed many hours of community service as punishment for her disregard of the cats\u2019 lives.<\/span><\/div>\n<div><span style=\"color: white;\"><\/span><\/div>\n<div><span style=\"color: white;\">Yet what about her life?&nbsp; Like Mr. Cohen, she sees, hears and smells the cats in her life yet never agreed to have them impact her life the way they do. It isn\u2019t one cat at a time but a colony of cats.&nbsp; Now more feral cats are living on her porch and there is nothing she can do about it<\/span><\/div>\n<div><span style=\"color: white;\"><\/span><\/div>\n<div><span style=\"color: white;\">What about this neighbor? She acted without thinking and now is prohibited from acting at all. She is prohibited from having the cats removed and cannot stop her neighbors from feeding them.&nbsp; The neighbor\u2019s actions deny her the use of her property. &nbsp;She isn\u2019t laughing and poking fun at her neighbors, and they at her, all in good humor.&nbsp; Her neighbors taunt her and remind her they will have her thrown in jail again if she hurts one tabby hair on a feral cat\u2019s head. <\/span><\/div>\n<div><span style=\"color: white;\"><\/span><\/div>\n<div><span style=\"color: white;\">In the end, the title of Mr. Cohen\u2019s book, <u>I Want to Kill the Dog<\/u> is more prophetic than he could ever have imagined while writing this humor filled memoir. In the world of conflict between people about animals this one sentiment has been uttered so many times, and not in jest, it scares people.&nbsp; We need to find a way to provide a platform from which people so effected can speak and be heard about the impact these animals are having on their lives, both good and bad.&nbsp; Maybe mediation or collaborative practice provides this platform.&nbsp; Whatever method is chosen, we need to create a space in which we can resolve these conflicts in a party centered manner.&nbsp; It will save the people in the conflict and the animals who may be at risk.<\/span><\/div>\n<div><span style=\"color: white;\"><\/span><\/div>\n<div><span style=\"color: white;\">Lets change the rhetoric from, \u2018I want to kill the dog\u2019 to \u2018How Can We Save the Dog and Neighbor relationship?\u2019&nbsp;&nbsp; Just a thought for the next title of a Richard Cohen book.<\/span><\/div>\n<div><span style=\"color: white;\"><\/span><\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<span class=\"et_bloom_bottom_trigger\"><\/span>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A comment by Debra Hamilton on the book by Richard Cohen In the past week I have had 5 colleagues and 8 friends forward information about this book to my [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":284,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.5 - 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