{"id":166,"date":"2013-04-13T16:40:00","date_gmt":"2013-04-13T16:40:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.new.hamiltonlawandmediation.com\/solving-conflicts-pet-and-otherwise-in-the-lgbtq-community\/"},"modified":"2014-05-12T15:14:45","modified_gmt":"2014-05-12T15:14:45","slug":"solving-conflicts-pet-and-otherwise-in-the-lgbtq-community","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hamiltonlawandmediation.com\/solving-conflicts-pet-and-otherwise-in-the-lgbtq-community\/","title":{"rendered":"Solving Conflicts, Pet and otherwise, in the LGBTQ Community"},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"clear: both; text-align: left;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.hamiltonlawandmediation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/04\/10_88_90LGBTQ.jpg\" style=\"clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"><img decoding=\"async\" border=\"0\" data-src=\"https:\/\/www.hamiltonlawandmediation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/04\/10_88_90LGBTQ.jpg\" title=\"\" alt=\"\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" class=\"lazyload\" \/><noscript><img decoding=\"async\" border=\"0\" src=\"https:\/\/www.hamiltonlawandmediation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/04\/10_88_90LGBTQ.jpg\" title=\"\" alt=\"\" \/><\/noscript><\/a><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Calibri;\">This week I was incredibly fortunate to connect with Jenn T. Grace, a business coach and facilitator to the LGBTQ community in the New Hampshire area and surrounds.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>As we niche practitioners are one to do, we meet people authentically and connect around these United States and the world.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>Jenny and I met on Linked in and were interested in each others practice and we set up a time to speak.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>We had an hour conversation and realized we had a great deal in common in our separate practices areas, even though on their face our practices seemed very different.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>We both help people learn how to speak to others and listen with a more empathetic ear.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<div style=\"line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><o:p><span style=\"font-family: Calibri;\">&nbsp;<\/span><\/o:p><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Calibri;\">Jenn told me she coaches businesses who do business with or that are owned by the LGBTQ clientele or business how to speak in a way that is respectful and not condescending.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>She enables producer, supplier and receiver effectively communicate in language that is respectful.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>She helps her clients understand how ignorance on either side can cost them business. <span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp;<\/span>This is a much needed niche to enable businesses and consumers to find each other and learn how to interact in a way that is respectful and sensitive.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>Finding that happy medium where everyone feels heard, understood and respected is the key to her business practice.<\/span><\/p>\n<div style=\"line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><o:p><span style=\"font-family: Calibri;\">&nbsp;<\/span><\/o:p><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Calibri;\">Jenn is also an animal lover, having owned her cat for the past 12 years.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>She was able to personally relate to what I do, mediate conflicts between people over their pets in divorce, because her cat was &#8216;held hostage&#8217; for a few weeks while she and her ex worked out his custody. <span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/span>For a series of weeks she was without her cat as she shared custody with her ex.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>This agreement was &#8216;negotiated&#8217; at the end of their relationship.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>The parties had some unresolved issues involving the cat, and their attorneys chose to simply split the cat custody.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>No discussion about why the ex wanted the cat was ever conducted.<\/span><\/p>\n<div style=\"line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><o:p><span style=\"font-family: Calibri;\">&nbsp;<\/span><\/o:p><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Calibri;\">This conversation could have addressed the real conflict.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>Yet, lawyers like to avoid conflicts when and where they can and this cat custody issue was an emotional conflict worth avoiding.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>If they had addressed the &#8216;cat&#8217; custody some nasty emotions may have come bubbling.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>The discussion may have gotten out of hand and the entire divorce agreement may have blow up. Better to just split things up with no thought or discussion about why.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>Neat and clean.<\/span><\/p>\n<div style=\"line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><o:p><span style=\"font-family: Calibri;\">&nbsp;<\/span><\/o:p><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Calibri;\">This is where Jenn&#8217;s real life experience and our practices converge.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>She helps people speak the language of establishing relationships.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>Yet in her own relationship break up when the conflict involved the pet, neither party was provided the opportunity to speak about establishing the basis for their desire to continue a relationship with the cat.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>Unlike in her business practice, where Jenn asks why it&#8217;s important, in her personal life her attorney didn&#8217;t ask for the why.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>The language of addressing a conflict and creating relationships was exchanged for the language of negotiation to avoid conflict.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<div style=\"line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><o:p><span style=\"font-family: Calibri;\">&nbsp;<\/span><\/o:p><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Calibri;\">My practice tackles the why of a conflict respectfully.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>Animals, especially those in the middle of relationship dissolution, may be the last best thing you both had together.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>To think one party is more entitled to keeping the animal in their life than the other sets up a kind of hostage takings which proves you cannot assume anything.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>My experience helps people have the conversation about how they see the animal continuing in their life and not assume they want 50% time with the pet just because they have a right to 50 % of a pet.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>If it is truly about keeping the pet in their life they will have reasonable explanations on how they see their pets continued roll in their future.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>If they are &#8216;negotiating&#8217; and using the pet as a bargaining chip the attorneys need to get to the bottom of the action and stop the misuse of the animal, as they would the misuse of a child being used as a negotiating pawn.<\/span><\/p>\n<div style=\"line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><o:p><span style=\"font-family: Calibri;\">&nbsp;<\/span><\/o:p><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Calibri;\">In the end Jenn and I realized we had similar practice areas, resolving conflicts involving people.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>We strive to do the same thing, have our clients learn about how the other side feels and why that is important and respecting each other position.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>We look forward to working together in the future.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>My business colleagues will gain insight into working with the LGBTQ and non LGBTQ communities.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>Jenn&#8217;s clients and colleagues will find out that there is a way to speak about an animal, in a conflict situation, that uses the language of establishing a relationship rather that negotiating a settlement.<\/span><\/p>\n<div style=\"line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><o:p><span style=\"font-family: Calibri;\">&nbsp;<\/span><\/o:p><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Calibri;\">We look forward to a brighter future as we work together.<br \/><a href=\"https:\/\/www.hamiltonlawandmediation.com\/\" style=\"color: #ff9900; text-decoration: none;\"><i>\u2014Debra Vey  Voda-Hamilton<\/i><\/a> <\/span><o:p><br \/><span style=\"font-family: Calibri;\">&nbsp;<\/span><\/o:p><\/p>\n<div style=\"line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><\/div>\n<p><\/p>\n<div style=\"line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><\/div>\n<p><\/p>\n<div style=\"line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><o:p><span style=\"font-family: Calibri;\">&nbsp;<\/span><\/o:p><\/div>\n<p><\/p>\n<div style=\"line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><o:p><span style=\"font-family: Calibri;\">&nbsp;<\/span><\/o:p><\/div>\n<span class=\"et_bloom_bottom_trigger\"><\/span>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This week I was incredibly fortunate to connect with Jenn T. Grace, a business coach and facilitator to the LGBTQ community in the New Hampshire area and surrounds.&nbsp; As we [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":263,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Solving Conflicts, Pet and otherwise, in the LGBTQ Community - Hamilton Law and Mediation, PLLC | Animal and Pet Conflict Mediation<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/hamiltonlawandmediation.com\/solving-conflicts-pet-and-otherwise-in-the-lgbtq-community\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Solving Conflicts, Pet and otherwise, in the LGBTQ Community - Hamilton Law and Mediation, PLLC | Animal and Pet Conflict Mediation\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"This week I was incredibly fortunate to connect with Jenn T. 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