{"id":159,"date":"2013-07-06T00:21:00","date_gmt":"2013-07-06T00:21:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.new.hamiltonlawandmediation.com\/dont-talk-to-them\/"},"modified":"2014-05-12T15:14:38","modified_gmt":"2014-05-12T15:14:38","slug":"dont-talk-to-them","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hamiltonlawandmediation.com\/dont-talk-to-them\/","title":{"rendered":"Don\u2019t Talk to \u2018Them\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.hamiltonlawandmediation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/n.us_HOW-MANY-PROBLEMS-WE-COULD-GET-RID-OF-If-people-started-talking-to-each-other-and-not-about-each-other.-_13463442143-5B1-5D.jpg\" style=\"clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" border=\"0\" height=\"165\" data-src=\"https:\/\/www.hamiltonlawandmediation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/n.us_HOW-MANY-PROBLEMS-WE-COULD-GET-RID-OF-If-people-started-talking-to-each-other-and-not-about-each-other.-_13463442143-5B1-5D-300x155.jpg\" width=\"320\" title=\"\" alt=\"\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" class=\"lazyload\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 320px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 320\/165;\" \/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" border=\"0\" height=\"165\" src=\"https:\/\/www.hamiltonlawandmediation.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/n.us_HOW-MANY-PROBLEMS-WE-COULD-GET-RID-OF-If-people-started-talking-to-each-other-and-not-about-each-other.-_13463442143-5B1-5D-300x155.jpg\" width=\"320\" title=\"\" alt=\"\" \/><\/noscript><\/a><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Cambria;\">By Debra Vey Voda Hamilton, Esq., Hamilton Law and Mediation<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Cambria;\">On June 28<sup>th<\/sup> 2013 I actually took the time to read the Op-Ed page of the NY Times.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>I usually leave it to my husband who reads every NY paper, cover to cover.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>He helps me find articles relevant to what I do, resolve conflicts between people about animals.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>He is awesome at this job.<\/span><\/p>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><o:p><span style=\"font-family: Cambria;\">&nbsp;<\/span><\/o:p><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Cambria;\">ON THIS DAY,<b style=\"mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;\"> <\/b>I decided to read the paper myself.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>Several articles were interesting, but one entitled <i style=\"mso-bidi-font-style: normal;\">Don\u2019t Talk to the Taliban<\/i>, by Husain Haqqani, caught my eye.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>I always wonder how someone can make such a blanket<b style=\"mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;\"> <\/b>statement.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>It is often the same statement my clients make, prior to mediation of their animal conflict, about their adversary.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span><span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp;<\/span>I can\u2019t\/don\u2019t want to talk to them, they lie or I don\u2019t trust them!!<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: Cambria;\">In the article, Mr. Haqqani, former Ambassador to the United States from Pakistan (2008-2011), stated, \u201cnegotiating with the Taliban now would be a grievous mistake.\u201d<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>He felt the Taliban \u201cview the talks as the beginning of the restoration of their emirate.\u201d<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>The intention of the article was to warn the US to avoid the scheduled conversations between the US and the Taliban.&nbsp;<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp;<\/span>According to Mr. Haqqani,<b style=\"mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;\"> <\/b>everything the Taliban has said and done up to this point, belies its statements that it is \u201cready for political accommodation.\u201d<\/span><\/div>\n<p><\/p>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: Cambria;\">Yet, if we don\u2019t talk how will we move forward?<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>If we don\u2019t listen, albeit with some healthy skepticism, won\u2019t this deep-seated fear of anyone not aligned with one side or the other persist?<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>If we don\u2019t get to speak and have them listen, won\u2019t the status quo remain?<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>I do not profess to be an expert on Middle Eastern policies or \u201cthe history of Washington\u2019s engagement with the Taliban.\u201d<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>I come at this article from my own pragmatic point of view on emotional and deeply held conviction conflicts.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>If we don\u2019t talk, how do we change the paradigm?<\/span><\/div>\n<p><\/p>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: Cambria;\">My practice, on a much smaller<b style=\"mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;\"> <\/b>scale, helps people use discussion to resolve conflicts involving animals.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>On a global scale, I believe mediation will help animals at the center of the animal production\/animal rights battle take incremental steps toward finding a solution to this escalating war.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp;&nbsp; <\/span>If all sides \u2018Don\u2019t Talk\u2019 the battle will continue to rage as will the US\/Taliban conflict.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>Distrust of what one side says and does vs. the other side can only be resolved at a table, eyeball to eyeball, building understanding and hopefully trust.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>Without discourse there is really no hope that we can all live together in some kind of harmony, human or animal.<\/span><\/div>\n<p><\/p>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: Cambria;\">The Taliban and US have historic and, they each believe, well-founded mistrust of and beliefs about each other.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>These feelings are similar to the ones held by the Animal Production and Animal Rights proponents who are in conflict with each other.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>Neither side really fosters a desire to take small bites at their respective apples of conflict, thereby making tangible gestures of good will that could, little by little, soften their deep-seated mistrust.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>This kind of conduct will not reduce conflict or make peace happen over night, in a month, a year, or a decade.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>Yet, to profess in either instance the \u201cDon\u2019t Talk\u201d rule, will simply prolongs the agony of the innocent bystander.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>In these larger wars, the Middle Eastern and American people and the endangered animals are at the center of their respective arguments and are the only ones continuing to suffer.<\/span><\/div>\n<p><\/p>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: Cambria;\">I, for one, facilitate conversation.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp;&nbsp; <\/span>What is often difficult at first becomes easier with practice and repetition.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>Nothing worth achieving is easy and if you don\u2019t talk you will never find out how rewarding that discussion can be.<\/span><\/div>\n<p><\/p>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: Cambria;\">I get Mr. Haqqani\u2019s caution and skepticism.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>I have no issue with his advice that \u201cAmerica must enter these talks with a healthy dose of skepticism.\u201d<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>I feel the same way about discussions conducted between Animal Production and Animal Rights proponents.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span><span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp;<\/span>I do not agree, though, that if they don\u2019t hold that skepticism throughout the talks they should \u201cnot participate at all.\u201d<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>If one refuses to participate in a dialogue it can perpetuate beliefs that may now, in fact, be wrong.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<p><\/p>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: Cambria;\">Without discussion and dialogue you cannot hope to understand how your adversary feels.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>Like it or not, dialogue can change positions in a conflict.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>It effectuate such a change in short amounts of time, for less money while achieving the greatest positive impact on those innocently involved. There may be lies and stretches to the truth.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span><span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp;<\/span>Somewhere in lies is an opportunity to ask <span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp;<\/span>\u201cWhy?\u201d <span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp;<\/span><span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp;<\/span>And, in that discussion comes the opportunity for everyone to show their true colors.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<p><\/p>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: Cambria;\">Similarly, in small or large conflicts between people about animals, people use misinformation and innuendo to rally the troops to their cause.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>If we don\u2019t take the opportunity to talk and be held accountable for what we say in public and in private, how will the plights of the animals ever change?<\/p>\n<p>Think about it and please let me know what percolates in your mind.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">&nbsp; <\/span>Are you able to talk in conflict? How do you approach a difficult discussion?<\/span><br \/><span style=\"font-family: Cambria;\"><\/span><br \/><a href=\"https:\/\/www.hamiltonlawandmediation.com\/\"><span style=\"color: blue; font-family: Cambria;\">www.hamiltonlawandmediation.com<\/span><\/a><\/div>\n<span class=\"et_bloom_bottom_trigger\"><\/span>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By Debra Vey Voda Hamilton, Esq., Hamilton Law and Mediation On June 28th 2013 I actually took the time to read the Op-Ed page of the NY Times.&nbsp; I usually [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":257,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Don\u2019t Talk to \u2018Them\u201d - Hamilton Law 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